Thursday, October 30, 2008

Tough new alcohol laws to stop Sydney violence

Breaking News

Tough new alcohol laws to stop Sydney violence

In an effort to stem a wave of alcohol-related violence on Sydney's streets, authorities will no longer issue 24-hour liquor licenses and 50 pubs and clubs will be forced to lock-out patrons and serve drinks plastic glasses.

Sydney has seen a spate of "glassings" in recent weeks, where drinkers, male and female, have been smashed in the face with a beer glass, and street brawls which have left police injured.

Authorities say a culture of binge drinking by young men and women is behind the rise in violence.

Australia's most populous state New South Wales, which includes Sydney the nation's biggest city, recorded 21,000 incidents of alcohol-related violence in the past year, with the rate of violent incidents rising seven percent annually.

In announcing the new alcohol laws in Thursday, NSW Premier Nathan Rees said "the people of NSW have had enough of it."

Rees said the new laws were not aimed at "ending the good times," but "stopping drunken behaviour that ends in violence."

"We're serious about tackling alcohol-related violence and will do whatever it takes to make our streets safer. There's nothing more gutless than sticking a glass in someone's face," Rees told reporters.

New liquor licences will only allow an upper limit of 18 hours trading. While 50 pubs and clubs in Sydney and around NSW will be forced to "lock-out" new patrons after 2am, use plastic cups after midnight, restrict drinks bought after midnight, and close alcohol service 30 minutes before closing time.

Sixteen pubs in Sydney's central business district and eastern suburbs are affected, including tourist havens like the Orient Hotel in the Rocks, Scruffy Murphy's on George Street and the Coogee Bay and Bondi hotels.

(Reporting by Michael Perry; Editing by David Fox)

Tokasid: When will KL do the same. Or maybe KL will give more liecenses for 24 hour pub as previously suggested by a minister who is now the Sec-Gen of UMNO( who else if not the 'foot-in-mouth' disesased Tengku Adnan Mansor) to attract more foreign tourists.

Or maybe someone might want say that Sydney is controlled by PAS?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Mat Tyson JHEOA statement: Another foot in mouth disease by BN leader?

This was highlighted to me by our bro Dr Mokk and found the statement here at kedayan.

Tan Sri Muhammad, you think we are orang asli or what?

Written by Arimi Sidek
Monday, 06 October 2008

Orang Asli Dept role for Sabah?

The role of the Orang Asli Affairs Department (JHEOA), which has successfully developed the Orang Asli community in Peninsular Malaysia, will be reviewed and extended to Sabah.
Rural and Regional Development Minister, Tan Sri Muhammad Muhd Taib, said his Ministry might consider extending the role of the department to Sabah if there is a request for it.

Speaking to reporters after launching the Mesra Rakyat Programme with the Rural and Regional Development Ministry, organised by Kemas, at Kampung Murni, near here, Sunday, he said Pensiangan would be a priority area as far as development was concerned. Full news here

Orang Asli Dept for Sabah, you're kidding right?
Let's talk about it with a little bit of openness and honesty; for the goodness sake of the state.

Jabatan hal ehwal orang asli (JHEOA) may be successful in peninsula. But easy to claim that it is successfull when in reality, JHEOA is the only department in Malaysia with the sole purpose of dealing with orang asli affairs. It may or may not succesfull at all.

This is because, if Jabatan Orang Asli is so successful, why there are many complaints about it?

Read critics about JHEOA and orang asli wellbeing here, here, here, and here.

Among the most prominents critics is right on JHEOA core role itself. It seems to propagates malaynization or even Umnonization process more than to really bring about true progress and development to orang asli community. I have no grudge on Islamization of orang asli, though, as most were animists prior their conversion to Islam. But apart from Islam, many natives in Sabah are christians now, and the same approach of malaynization and Islamization may not quite applicable here.

There is another reservation, correct me if I'm wrong here. In the eyes of many mainstream malays in peninsula, orang aslis fall into proto-malay category. Right, they too, are bumis. But, they always in a lower status in comparison to 'proper' malays. This isn't stated anywhere in our constitution, it is all about sentiment and stigma. Malays never equalize themselves with Jah Hut, Jakun, Mah Meri or Senoi for that matter.

Some of you may not understand this; so let's use 'downgrade' and 'upgrade' term. Malays never equalize themselves with orang asli down to the level of jakuns, negritos, semangs, etc.. Just go and check around with any KLites malays if you don't believe me. It is considered as a downgrade, if not blasphemy.

Or, if you are a good sprinter, go to any bus stops in peninsular Malaysia and say “woi jakun” or “woi senoi” clearly to any available [and healthy] malay youths there; and see if they're happy to give you a good chase in a bright sunny day or not. Full article

Tokasid: on the surface the intentions might be good but I gathered from friends in Sabah and Sarawak, the statement is like an insult to them.

Now, if JHEOA were to go into Sabah and Sarawak, which group will fall into the Orang Asli category? The Kadazan?Dusun?Bajau? Orang Ulu? Melanau?Iban?Penan?Bidayuh?

They are now grouped into Bumiputera.Withl this move, will the be rename into the Orang Asli group?

It appears to me that Mat Taib opened his mouth without thinking about the feelings of the ppl of both Sabah and Sarawak.Was it to get more nomination for his Timbalan Presiden's post?

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Corrupted Vice Chancellor and PLUS's new logo

Salam to all.

Two news that caught my eyes yesterday.

This was at the front page of the STAR yesterday Friday 24th October 2008.

(1) Friday October 24, 2008

Ex-Deputy Vice-Chancellor under probe over illegal contract extension


KUALA LUMPUR: A former deputy vice-chancellor is being investigated for allegedly falsifying documents including forging his superior’s signature to obtain an extension of his service contract at the university.

It is learnt that the Anti-Corruption Agency has completed its investigations into the allegations against the former professor and forwarded the findings to the Senior Federal Counsel (SFC) within the ACA for further action.

Sources close to the investigations said ACA officers found several suspected irregularities in the acknowledgement of documents by the university’s Human Resources Department, thus putting the professor back on the payroll.

They said that the professor, in his 50s, had been enjoying the “illegal” extension and other perks and benefits for more than a year before university authorities realised they had been duped.

A report was lodged with the ACA which started investigating the matter in April.

The sources said the ACA had questioned all parties concerned including the former vice-chancellor whose signature was allegedly forged to make it look as though he supported the extension as well as other staff members of the university.

It is learnt that the appointment of deputy vice-chancellor is the prerogative of the vice-chancellor.

Tokasid: Something like this is not the first and the last time that we will see.But to hear something like this coming from an ivory tower is really schocking.Are the academicians aping our politicians?

Or maybe our politicians learned all their dirty tricks in the university they attended to?

When we have corrupt politicians and corrupt academicians don't you think that will lead to a corrupt society?

(2) Friday October 24, 2008

PLUS launches new logo

PETALING JAYA: PLUS Expressways Berhad has changed its logo, after 20 years of operation, from the familiar green highway icon to one that looks and feels more modern.

Launched yesterday by Works Minister Datuk Mohd Zin Mohamed, the new logo has a curved blue highway icon which flows into the word PLUS.

PLUS chairman Tan Sri Mohd Sheriff Mohd Kassim said the new logo maintained green as the company’s corporate colour while the blue strip reflected the company’s membership within the UEM group.

“PLUS is synonymous with the longest highway in the peninsula, which is a contributing factor to the nation’s economic and social growth,” he said in his speech.

New look: Mohd Zin launching the new PLUS Expressways Bhd logo yesterday. With him are Mohd Sheriff and PLUS Expressways managing director Noorizah Abdul Hamid.

The launch of the new logo was held in conjunction with the company’s Hari Raya open house.

Mohd Zin said in his speech that as the first company given a concession for highways, PLUS had to continue to give the best service to its customers.

Also launched yesterday was PLUS mentor-mentee contractor programme which mimics the government policy of distributing 10% of large contracts as sub-contract work to the smaller Class F and Grade G1 contractors.

Tokasid: After using the same 'shirt' since its birth PLUS decided to have a new 'shirt'. Well that is their rights to use whatever logo they deem fit.

But will they new logo make PLUS better? Will our highway be better. Will the toll rate stay the same after the new logo?

Remember, a new logo will come with lots of expensive changes. New signboards all over the highway at the laybys, RnR, toll booths, PLUS regional offices,letterheads,envelopes, invoices, uniforms, car stickers, toll coupons etc.These will go into billions.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Datuk Shah part III

The Star 24th October
Page N8.

The STAR reported that SRK will be conferred a datukship next Wednesday( 29th October) according to Melaka CM Ali Rustam.The event will be held at Seri Negeri and will be live telecast at 10.00 pm.
Ali also hoped that Datuk Shah will stay a few days in Melaka and will visit the Taming Seri Tower,Eye on Malaysia ferris wheel and other attractions.

Ali said: "Despite the criticisms,I still believe SRK deserves the title".

So all Bollywood fans( VVIPs and commoners alike) make sure your diary for Wednesday is free. Make sure you come to Melaka to see 'kera di hutan disusukan'.

Yes, Datin-Datin pull out your best dress for the occassion.Don't worry about your Datuk. He's more than happy if you attend the ceremony,at least he will have the night for himself without you looking over his shoulders.

Datin-Datin are encourage to make a beeline along the Seri Negeri road to wave flags for the new Datuk Shah.It will be a glittering night to remember. And datins, do cross your fingers and do hope Datuk Shah will kiss your over powdered Botox enhanced cheeks. Don't worry, the ass grabbing Datuk will not be in Melaka that night.

Apparently Ali is brushing up his rusty Urdu to impress Datuk Shah. No wonder I see many balacis making their appearance in Nasi Kandaq Subaidah near MITC talking in broken Urdu Hindu Tamil and Farsi making the imported waiters bewildered.

And kurtas in Little India is selling like hot vades with many Pemuda and Putera snatching kurtas right under their MIC counterparts noses making those boutique owners confused for they thought the Pemuda and Puteras are celebrating Divali like their MIC brethens.

And I see many Nepalese workers and Indian workers in the nearby chicken farm looking dejected in Durian Tunggal. I asked one Lal Bahadur why? His response: " Doktor...isekarang itu Shah Rukh mau dapat itu datuk. Saya suda sini kirja 5 tahun apa pun tara dapat. Saya sini kirja satu hari 12 jam, badan sakit-sakit selalu datang jumpa doktor kasi injection,Tapi itu Shah Rukh apa bikin sama Melaka?"

Updates: The datukship conferment is actually on 29th November.The Star reported it here.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Deja Vu

Salam to all.

Déjà vu:
"already seen"; also called "paramnesia," from Greek παρα "para," "near" + μνήμη "mnēmē," "memory") is the experience of feeling sure that one has witnessed or experienced a new situation previously (an individual feels as though an event has already happened or has happened in the near past).

KUALA LUMPUR, Oct 21 — Finance Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak said today the government will borrow RM5 billion from the Employees Provident Fund to fund government investment agency Valuecap Sdn Bhd.

"It's not part of the Consolidated Fund. It's a loan from EPF," said Najib.

The Deputy Prime Minister pointed out that the loan would not be part of the Budget 2009 allocations for spending announced last month.

Yesterday, Najib announced a host of measures to boost the economy and protect Malaysia from the effects of the global financial turmoil

Reading this I can't help having the deja vuic situation. EPF funds being used again for another (?)bailout. Seems like it happened yesterday.Anyway that yesterday was about 10 years ago.
Apparently its the Rakyats' money that is needed to save whatever needed to be saved, except the rakyats' souls.

Bakaq Penarik Beca summed up my feelings on this matter:

Amboi, bila kita nak pakai sikit duit kita dalam KWSP, kena mengemis macam peminta sedekah. Kadang-kadang pelbagai karenah menyebabkan kita rasa kita ni macam kucing kurap walaupun nak minta duit sendiri. Depa senang-senang boleh tibai RM5 bilion untuk bail-out saham-saham terkincit nilai. Hampa nak kata apa?!! Depa ada kuasa. Hidup kuasa!!

Tokasid nak tanya : Adakah dari segi undang-undang wang simpanan rakyat didalam EPF bleh di gunakan tanpa izin pencarum-pencarum?

Monday, October 20, 2008

Nujum Pa' Blalang

Salam buat semua.

Ingat tak film Nujum Pa' Blalang? Alah...yang P.Ramlee jadi Pa' Blalang dan Bat Latiff jadi Blalang tuu....Tak ingat lagi? Alah yang Pa' Blalang auta Sultan sampai dapat tuan Puteri jadi Ma' Blalang tuu....tak ingat jugak? Alahai...awat la samdol sangat nih?

Okay...... ingat tak teka teki mana itik jantan mana itik betina? Atau Blalang guna abu pungkoq belanga untuk buat 'kopi' jamu rombongan Tok Penghulu?Tak ingat jugak?

Yang ni mesti ingat punya: Ajiz dan Sudin jadi penyamun dan dok membahagi harta samun mereka. Eleh...yang satu untuk kau satu untuk aku tu....Ingat? Ha...ingat pun hangpa no.

Andaikata....anda yang kata, bukan aku yang kata, Nujum Pa' Blalang di buat di tahun ini bagaimana agaknya dialog Penyamun 1 dan Penyamun 2?

Penyamun1: Eh, kau tau ka sekarang ni rezeki kita banyak murah daa...

Penyamun 2: Iya daa...untung jugak bila ada jawatan besar-besar ni. Orang tak berani ganggu kita daa....

Penyamun 1: Itu lah aku cakap. Tumpang tengah ada kuasa ni kita kena pandai lah nak buat apa yang patut.

Penyamun 2: Eh apa da kau ni...membebel saja.Elok kita bahagikan harta-harta ni.

Penyamun 1: Ya tak ye jugak daa....aku punya syok sampai lupa nak bahagi-bahagikan daa...Jangan marah daa....

Penyamun 1: Okay aku mula. Ini kapal selam untuk kau ini helikopter untuk aku.

Penyamun 2: Bagus..bagus...aku setuju.

Penyamun: Ini jambatan kedua untuk aku ,itu jambatan bengkok untuk kau.

Penyamun 2: boleh itu macam daa....apasal kau kasi sama aku jambatan bengkok yang sudah batal daa...mana adil.

Penyamun 1: Ya ka? Aku sudah lupa itu jambatan sudah batal daa....Sapa kasi batal eh? Bahlol betul kasi batal kalu tak aku boleh sebat juga....

Penyamun 2: Eh cepat sikit daa....

Penyamun 1: Iya lah....Satu koridor untuk kau dua korridor untuk aku....

Penyamun 2: Eh apa daa...kau dapat 2 koridor aku dapat satu. Ini tak adil.

Pemyamun 1: Aku ambil dua sebab nak kasi kau senang kerja. kau sapu satu saja koridor aku lagi teruk kena sapu dua tau ka? Itu banyak kerja dan masa tau.....

Barang siapa yang mahu menambah sebarang scenario atau dialog di persilakan tetapi mesti dalam kisah nujum Pa' Blalang saja. Skrip terbaik akan di jadikan film terbaru keluaran M-No Production bertajuk nujum Pa' Bedul.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Terkenang semasa dulu 13 aka Kerpomovic's tag.

Salam to all.

I was toying with the Astro remote control tonight after watching Ang Lee's Sense and Sensibility.
Pressing buttons here and there and there was the wrestling programme WWE. And I remember Ahmad Kerpomovic had sort of tagged me about some 15 whatever about oneself.And I started to think,really think about myself. Is there anything special or interesting about myself? Is there any trademark that made friends remember about me or associate it with me.

I dunno,for I personally think I'm just a plain and sometimes boring guy( well to some its boring all the way).I'm not trying to be 'merendah diri' or what here. Its just that I think I am not an interesting guy who will not get any datukship even from Melaka or Ethopia or Eritrea.

Anyway, here are 15 facts about me. So Kerpov. I am a sport huh!

1- Born in the year of the Tiger in the month of the Ram. Unfortunately I didn't have any stripes like the Pak Belang nor horns like the Ram. But I do keep a goatee. Its just to follow Sunnah Nabi and not sunnah Ram.

2-I don't know if my father follow the fung shui or what, for he enrolled me into a tiger school(King Edward VII). I would like to think its because I was born in the year of the Tiger but my younger brother who was brn in some other animals year also went to tiger school.

3-Mak and Tok told me I broke my nose when I was very-very tiny.

4- When I was a toddler Bapak and Mak rented a house in Kg Datuk Kramat,KL circa1962.Bapak was attached to a camp nearby most probably at Jalan Padang Tembak. One day a neighbour held a wedding kenduri. That night there were kompangs and marhaban and singing at the neighbour's. And Mak said I cried and cried and cried and she can't make me stop. Finally the bapak and mak pengantin ask all the kompangs and marhabans and singing to stop.Only then did I stop my crying and went t sleep.So I was a kacau daun baby. Even though Mak was telling the truth about that incident,I still refuse to believe. Takkan aku lagu tu kot!!

5-We had 2 bicycles . One for Bapak to cycle to Kem Angkut in Kemunting and another was Mak's which she cycles to school( Sekolah Rendah Assam Kumbang). Despite having 2 gherek I only learned cycling in standard 5 after the Peperiksaan Penilaian Darjah Lima. But I was not allowed to cycle to Taiping. Only when I was in Form 1 was I allowed to LSS in Aulong for the morning co-curriculum( I know of one doctor in Kota Samarahan who would say kau korekkulum. Aik mamat!! Kau tak ngaku pulak eh?). I was grounded for several offences. One was when a friend came up with a brilliant idea to make a 'police siren". We would attached a 'pot susu' with a 'tali guni' to the free wheel of the bicycle. The 'bunyi siren' it made was sweet and melodious to us kid but it sure made adults popped out their eyes and most probably made their 'taik telinga menggelegak' too. Another one was when I rode really fast,once .No, not to emulate any Malaysian cyclist of that time, but to impress a beautiful girl in our lorong.

6-My first 'tengok wayang' movie in a real cinema was for the film Haathi Mere Saathi.Maybe I was in standard 3 or 4. No, I didn't go with Bapak or Mak. Bapak never went to movies. It just happened when Haathi Mere Saathi was screened in Taiping, a cousin and her family came. Her husband borrowed Bapak's gherek and took me to 'tengok wayang Hindustan' and Taiping's Lido. It was a box office and we couldn't get any tickets. Finally cousin's hubby manage to get a black market ticket from some 'ulaq ayaq' at RM 2.00(for a 3rd class ticket which actually cost 40 cents. We got the frontmost row which was about 10 feet from the screen. I had to sit on the floor coz we only got 1 ticket. several hours later, we came out with a sore neck.

7-In 1974 Mak's friends from Sekolah Kebangsaan Sungai Kepar(Semanggol) with some Belia group organised a Malam Amal. They invited Ahmad Daud,Sa'adiah,Rose Iskandar and her uncle a comedian who looks like Alias Congo( I can't remember his stage name). When these entertainers arrived they we brought to Che'gu Zainal's place. His wife Che'gu Che Amah requested Mak to help out with the cooking and keeping Ahmad Daud and Co company.
There was a jackfruit(nangka) tree behind the huse and a jackfuit was already ripe. You can smell the sweet aroma when passing by the tree. Che'gu Zainal wanted to pick the fruit. I volunteered to climb with a knife in hand. After cutting off the buah nangka and carefully dropping it down, I started to climb down. Haf way( maybe about 6 feet from the ground) I threw the knife and the blade went just nicely down piercing and getting stuck t the ground. Without thinking I just down. When I was getting to my selipar Jepun, Ahmad Daud noticed my right sole bleeding. True enough. About 6 cm of my sole was gapping wide open and blod was spurting.There was no pain. Che'gu Zainal drove me to Taiping hospital and got the wound sticthed up. That night,I was not allowed the pleasure of watching Ahmad Daud,Sa'adiah and Rose Iskandar perform. And I'm still carrying the scar. And since that day a became afraid of heights( gayat le...)

8-Here's a confession. I can't swim. Unlike Mat Salo who represented Perak in MSSM. But like any other kids in those days, I like water very much. Bapak and Mak used to take us kids a a stream near Zoo Taiping to have a family picnic(sometime 2-3 families with our neighbours tagging along).Well take he bus from Kg Pinang to Taiping Bus Stand and then walk for about 2 miles to the Lake garden carrying plates and utensils and towels and 'seluaq mandi'(which is actually our PE shorts) and tikar mengkuang.Bapak would cycle with the nasi lemak and sambal tumis telor. The stream was only knee deep in those days(now its ankle deep) and Bapak was there to watch over us. Its a controlled envirnment.

When I was in Standard 5, I did one foolish thing. Me and my 2 brothers and 2 other friends when to our usual fringe jungle nearby. Beyond the jungle were several mining pools. Since the day was really hot, a friend suggested we take a swim in one of the lombong. As kids act on impulse, all of us agreed without even thinking about the dangers of swimming in a lombong( mining pools are different from rivers or the sea.Lombong acts differently. It had the suction action and its beaches are very unsteady). Using a wooden plank left there by some other kids I swam.Both hand holding the plank's edge and and my legs kicking. When the sun starts to set we call it a day and parted ways. Me and my brother headed home with our skin becoming pale, our palms wrinkling and our hairs having withish powdery appearance( you'll have that after mandi lombong). From afar we saw a car within our compound.It had the Penang registration number and I knew it must be someone from Merbok visiting us.O ne of my uncles must have chartered the car(plus driver).

In order to avoid any unpleasantary, we walk quietely to the bathroom.Upon opening the bathroom door(the bathroom was attached to the kitchen) we saw Mak making drinks.And mak saw us. Oh..oh... we're in trouble.
"Hang pa mai mana ni?Ni mesti pi mandi lombong"
"Dak aih mak...kami tak mandi lombong aih...Kami main di rumah Cik Bedah Leman"
"Ohh...sapa ajaq hang muhong ni?Mak tau hang bawa adik-adik hang mandi lombong. Kalua dak tak kan kulit hangpa kecut lesi sampai pucat.Bijik mata merah rambut sampai naik putih?"
"Dak mak..."
"Ooo...hang tak mau mengaku noo...Tu di depan tu. Tok Nah ngan Pak Ngah Aji Man mai nak tengok hangpa, tau-tau hangpa hilang pi mabdi lombong noo..."
"Dak aih mak...sungguh kami tak mandi lombong"
"Hang jaga .Hang tunggu situ jangan dok pi mana.Mak nak hantaq ayaq kopi kat Tok hang. Satgi hangpa muleh laa...."

Then Mak came back to us. She snaped a branch of Jambu Air and gave us 3 kids a chase. And we 3 kids with our Mak ran around the house like a 4x 400 relay race. Each of us got several strokes( of couse I got the most...dah abang kan...) Those stroke were because I tried lying to Mak.

9-Here's another confession. Form the second term of Form 1, I was admitted into Sultan Abdul Hamid College(SAHC/KSAH).Since there were no vacancy in the hostel I was taken in by my aunt, Makcik Jah who was then staying in Kg Gunung Keriang. Bapak stayed on for a few days until all were settled and he had to go back to Taiping. The first night without Bapak, I cried in bed. Really cried. In 1975, we didn't have phones yet.All communication are by the snail mail.
The next day I became normal and no more crying. Betulll....percaya lah.

10-At the foot of Gunung Keriang there is a huge mata air(spring). The water is fresh and cold and it never dries even during the drought seasons of March-June in northern Kedah. Almost daily me and few friends in Kg Gunung Keriang will take our bath at this spring. At the foot of Gunung Keriang there was a quarry(the blasted 3-4 times a week) and there were many huge rocks around which were left. Between these huge rocks were instant open air lavatories or open air jamban. Boys and men will look for unoccupied jambans to get off their turds. If one if not careful, one might step on recently used jambans.
Since I was staying in Gunung Keriang I have to do what the Keriangans did.
I don't do that anymore,okay!!

11-I like to talk and talk and talk. And I like to listen to people talking. I get lots of info when talking( not talking alone lah) and listening. And when there is no one to talk too...tidur lagi baik. Dak ka?

12- Another confession. I like reading when sitting on the loo. Hah3...sudah banyak buku dan novels selesai di khatam dalam jamban daa....Kalau tak ada buku...IC pun boleh di baca dan di ulang kaji.

13-Started to listen to Western songs and music only my varsity days. Thank you Raja Amin,Zain Azlan, Rosli Ibrahim.

14- Belajaq isap rokok di Universiti Malaya. Masa sekolah dulu cek budak baik. Tak pernah isap rokok pun di hostel.

15-When sleeping : ada air menggelagak or babi lemas. Go figure it out!

So,Ahmad Kerpomovic I had finally responded to your tagging.
Now I will tag......who ever that is willing to share part of their lives with us.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Terkenang semasa dulu 12: Puasa sekolah rendah

Ramadhan 1973.
Darjah 5.
Kemunting ,Taiping.

Sejak tadika Mak dan Bapak dan ajar kami anak-anak berpuasa. Mula-mula sekerat hari. Lepas tu sampai jam 3, 4 dan akhirnya sampai lengkap sehari.

Selalunya dalam darjah 2-3 kami dah boleh ber'posa' sepanjang hari.

Dah menjadi adat budak lelaki sekolah rendah. Berpuasa ka tak berpuasa mana boleh dok diam. Dalam dok berposa kami 'hero-hero' lorong Bakaq Sampah dan lorong 10 Kpg Pinang akan terus dengan aktiviti permainan kami. Termasuk main bolasepak.

Aku masih ingat dengan jelas, bagaimana di sebabkan main bolasepak aku telah 'mencilok' puasa dan kemudian membuat muka 'steben' bila balik ke rumah.

Hari tu hari Sabtu. Kapten pasukan The Red Lion(TRL) dah buat arrangement nak lawan dengan team dari Kpg Jana di Padang SK Long Jaafar.Pagi tu ketika bermain-main kapten TRL, Zetzet bagitau: "Ni sat lagi pukoi 12 kita ada lawan bola dengan budak-budak Kpg Jana.Kita kena pi tau".

Lebih kurang jam 11.30 pagi kami beramai-ramai menapak ke SK Long Jaafar yang terletak di Kpg Jana.Lebih kurang 2 km dari larong kami di Kpg Pinang. Bila di sana budak-budak Kpg Jana ada yang dah sampai.

Di sebabkan kedua-dua team tak cukup pemain dan tiada pula pemain import pada zaman itu, kami mengambil keputusan bermain bolasepak dan bukan perlawanan bolasepak. Jadi teramatlah sakan budak-budak sekolah rendah main bola sampai hilang ingatan bahawa ketika itu adalah bulan puasa. Lebih kurang 1.30 tengahari masing-masing letih.Badan berpeluh sakan dan tekak memang dahaga yang amat amat sangat. Kalau masa tu ada apek jual aiskerim(berbasikal) lalu di situ alangkah eloknya.Atau kalau makcik yang jual ais kepal dan aih kacang(ABC) buka alangkah enaknya dapat menghisap sirap yang di tuang di atas aih kepai.
Atau jika dapat minum sebotol ayaq lemnet berperisa aiskrim soda atau sasparilla.

Tapi semua itu tak ada di tengahari bulan puasa. Jadi di tengah rembang itu kami menapak pulang. Lebih kurang 100m dari pintu pagar SK Long Jaafar terdapat sebuah paip atau pili awam di tepi jalan besar Kpg Jana.Kepala paipnya besar dan airnya laju. Di sebabkan hari yang panas ada antara kami mengambil keputusan untuk membasuh kepala dan badan di paip air tersebut. Aku letakan kepala di bawah paip dan membiarkan air deras yang sejuk dan nyaman membasahi rambut dan kepala.Aduh enak rasanya ketika itu.

Dalam membasahkan kepala dan muka, aku dengan sengaja 'terminum' air paip beberapa teguk sehingga hilang dahaga dan terasa segar semula.Kalau di ajak main bola semula ketika itu memang aku no problem.
Aku rasa ada kawan-kawan lain yang 'terminum' jugak.Tapi kami masing-masing menafikannya bila di tanya.

Bila sampai di rumah, aku terpaksa berlakun letih. Aku berjalan longlai dan berbaring di pangkin di bawah pokok di tepi rumah. Memang nampak letih. Mak dan adik Nizah di dapur membuat persediaan untuk berbuka puasa.Aku tahu nanti jam 5 petang aku akan di suruh ke kedai membeli aih batu.

Bila mak tanya kemana aku dengan adik-adik tadi aku beritahu kami pergi main bola.Bila mak tanya samada aku ada minum air aku nafikan dan beritau mak yang aku masih puasa.

Seingat aku itu lah sekali aku ponteng puasa dan berlakun berpuasa.

Bila berbuka puasa memang minuman sejuk berais menjadi kegemaran semua.Apalagi jika berpuasa di musim panas atau kemarau.

Semasa sekolah rendah, rumah kami tiada peti ais. Gaji Bapak dan Mak tak mampu untuk kami berpeti ais. Jadi untuk berbuka puasa dengan minuman berais, selalunya menjadi tugas aku untuk membeli aih ketoi di kedai runcit Pokcik Mat Kelantan.

Aih ketoi adalah bongkah-bongkah ketulan ais yang di tutupi dengan karung guni.Jika sesiapa hendak membeli Pokcik Mat Kelantan akan bertanya :" Mu nok berapo kettul awe?"
"Saya nak seketoi saya pakcik:

Dia kemudian akan mengergaji bongkah ais mengikut saiz. Kemudian bahagian yang telah di gergajikan akan di tabur dengan habuk kayu(sawdust) dan di bungkus dalam keratan suratkhabar dan di ikat dengan tali rafia. Serbuk kayu katanya untuk mengurangkan kadar kecairan ais ketul. Bila iah ketoi berada di tangan terpaksalah berlari pulang atau mengayuh basikal cepat-cepat . Masa ni tak boleh nak singgah bersembang dengan kawan-kawan atau nak singgah bermain guli atau getah kerana bimbang ias akan cair kesemuanya.

Dengan iah ketul mak akan buat air sirap atau air bandung yang amat kami nanti-nantikan.Atau kadang-kadang cuma air kosong tetapi berais,itu pun sudah cukup lazat bagi kami adik beradik.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Datuk Shah II :controversy

Now this Datuk Shah thingy had become a controversy and exposing the stupidity and idiotic nature of certain groups of leaders in Melaka.

We read in todays news, a statement by CM Ali Rustam: Shah Rukh Khan(SRK) was given the Datukship for his 'effort' in promoting Melaka with his film few years ago which was shot at A Farmosa in Alor Gajah.

Now if that is the reason, what about the other actors and actresses in that particular film? Don't they deserve the datukship too? And the director and producers?

And if you guys remember, Entrapment, starring the legendary Sean Connery and the talented and beautiful catherin Zeta Jones,were shot in Melaka too and that film did well in the box office throuhout the whole world.

This conferment of Datuk to SRK is plain double standard practised by the Melaka state government.

Here are two more conversation that was leaked but not printed by the MSM.

One: a phone conversation between 2 Khans in Mumbai yesterday.

Salman Khan(SK): Helloooo...Shah Rukh. How are you?

SRK: I'm fine. Who is this?

SK: Salman here.

SRK: Salmam? Which Salman? Salmam from Malaysia or Indonesia?

SK: Deiy!! Salman Khan here.Your greatest rival man.

SRK: Ohh...Salman Khan. You my greatest rival? the Malay saying: jauh panggang dari api.

SK: Whats that? Sounds like some menu. Anyway I want to congratulate you with the datuk thing you got from Melaka.

SRK: Oh,thank you.Actually I don't understand all this Datuk thing . And I don't know why I got it. And I don't think I deserve this.

SL: Actually Shah, I think I deserve it more than you do.

SRK: Why?

SL: Look here... few years ago I was the one on stage kissing the cheek of one soon-to-be First Lady of Malaysia.Not you. It was me. So actually I am the one who should get the Datuk title.

SRK: Whats the big deal of kissing some VVIP's wife cheeks? I can kiss more outstanding personalities anywhere. And by kissing here did you contribute anything to Melaka or Malaysia?

SL: Its like this la Shah. When people knew I kiss that lady, I'm sure many foreigners esp from India will want to visit Malaysia with the intention of kissing some Ministers' wives. But now I'm hoping to get a Tan sriship if the VVIP become the next PM of Malaysia. me a Tan Sri and you just a Datuk. Hahaha....I beat you to that.

SRK: Deiy Salman. Don't talk big okay. You see, the [erson who gave me the Datuk is contesting for Deputy President of his party soon. If he wins, he will become the next Deputy PM and he can give me a Tan Sri too. No need for me to kiss some elderly lady who thinks whe is still a teenager.

SL: But you dn't know if he will win or not.right?

SRK: Nothing to worry. Tomorrow I will start shooting a film about his contribution in Melaka and Malaysia.I hpe to rope everything within 2 weeks and will release it in Malaysia by 1st November. This film will make him a clear winner.I know Malysian UMNO will love this guy coz I'm playing him.

Two: New York press conference with Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta Jones.

Press: Mr Connery and Miss Jones. We want your reaction about the Melaka state govt conferring Datukship to the Bollywood hearthrob Shah Rukh Khan.

SC: What about it?

CZJ: Yeah what about it?

Press: The Melaka Chief Minister, Datuk Ali Rustam said, STK was given the title Datuk is for his contribution in promoting Melaka to the world especially India.

SC: How did he do it?

Press: Well the film he made in Melaka was a hit in India so the Melaka CM said it made many Indians visit Melaka.

CZJ: What is a Datuk actually?And are you sure the Indians went there for a tour? I heard they went to Melaka to work in the Nasi Kandar restaurants there.

Press: Its a title given by the govt to certain individuals. But when I look up the English-Malay dictionary it actually meant Grandfather.

SC: Oh, so this Khan made a film in Melaka and he got the Granfather title? I wouldn't want that title even if they beg me. Anyway, Miss Jones, we to made a film in Melaka right?

CZJ: was the Entrapment. I remember Melaka with its filthy river.

Press: So you guys don't feel bad not getting the datuk?

SC: Why should I? I was offered the lordship with the title Sir by Great Britain, and I decline it.

CZJ: Yeah, why should we? And who is this Ali the CM ? I nly know their Primiere the one many Malysian called Sleepy Flip-flop.Whatever that means.

SC: Okay guys,that will be all.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Datuk Shah

Malacca's latest glamourous Datuk: The Khan

Its been a month since I last wrote something in this blog. Some thought its due to Ramadhan. Some thought I had some terrible ilness. Some thought I was busy( hahaha....). Some thought I went off for some holiday or umrah. Maybe some might think " Dia ni pi kawin sorang lagi kot??"

The truth : I became plain lazy after my streamyx became very slow.Much slower than a sleepy tortoise. Then there was another glitch m my PC at home cannot detect my router( only after Hari Raya Hafiz made the connection directly via the modem not the router we are able t use the PC.But we can't have the wireless for our notebook. Need to buy another router it seems) and I became tired listening and reading and watching the ding-dongs of our political beasts. Initially I thought I won't write for a week.Then it became 2 weeks.Not its almost 2 months.

I did make a few draft during Ramadhan.Most are for the Terkenang semasa dulu slot.

But a sms from my sahabat made me write this pieee . Its a bit rusty and might not have any punchline.If you need good punchlines, our dear Che'gu KTN is the best.

Few nights ago at 1.00 am, three guy were having teh-tarik and roti Naan at a Nasi Kandar oulet in Melaka.All three were using shades to hide their identities.

That night, there were a large number of people there especially the white-shirted Pemuda guys looking tense after debating fiercely whom to nominate for the Pemuda chief post.

Several waiters(imported from Chennai) immediately knew one of those 3 guys with shades at 1.00am.

Wiater 1: Bacha! Dey...look,look...(pointing his finger to the 3 guys)

Waiter 2: What? Yenne....

Waiter 1: Shah rukh Khan laa....Shah Rukh Khan come here laa....

Waiter 2: are right.Lets go and greet him.And we can tell ur folks in Chennai we met the Khan.

The three guys have taken a table for themselve at the far end of the Nasi Kandar outlet and when they saw the 2 waiters approaching them they make a stop signal and indicating they were not to be disturbed.

Chow Yuen Fatt(CYF): Shah! Why you ask the waiters to turn away? Aiya...I very thirsty one mah...

Johnny Depp(JD): Yeah, Ah Fatt is right.I'm thirsty too. They say the teh tarik here is fabuolously delicious.We should call them back.

Shah Rukh Khan(SRK): No...not yet laa guys. See ah...those guys are from India so they will know me.Before you know it everyone will come to us.Lets have some privacy first laa....

JD: Okay you got a point there. So shall we order our drinks then?

SRK: Easy one . I know the captain's number so I'll sms him. What do you want?

CYF: I want a big teh tarik.Tell them I want tea from Darjeeling, not Cameron Highland one. And I want Cheese tosei.

JD: I'll have teh tarik too and 2 pieces of Naan with muttom curry.

SRK: Okay.I'll sms now. Anyway, what are you guys doing here in Melaka?

JD: Oh! Me and Ah Fatt? You see my dear fellow, both of us are filming the 5th instalment of Pirates of Carribeans: The Malacca Bastard. .I'm back as Capt Jack Sparrow and Ah Fatt as Capt Sao Feng. And what are you doing here Shah?

CYF: Eh Shah, you got shooting also ah?

SRK: Actually, I was invited here my The Melaka govt.

JD: Invited? What for?

SRK: Johnny boy...I'm shy to tell you and Ah Fatt laa....

JD: Come on here,be sporting to us Shah.

SRK: Actually the state govt is confering me a datukship for the Govenor's birthday bash this Saturday.

CYF: A what? Datukship? Hey how come you can get so easily one? I've been trying for many years and still nothing.

JD: What's a Datukship? Is it a ship like the ne we use in Pirates?

CYF: No...not that ship Johnny boy. Its actually a title given by a state or royal house to certain individuals during a king's or Sultan's birthday. Or a governor's.

JD: Oh I see. Just like the English giving of their lordship I suppose.

SRK: Yes...its something like that.

JD: Good for you Shah. How did you manage to get it?

CYF: You must have contributed something that benefits Melaka Shah.

SRK: Beats me guys. I am not sure why I will get this datukship. I have never stayed in Melaka. I know no one here. My only contribution is maybe Malaccans like to watch my movies.

JD: Hey!Hold on there. Me and Ah Fatt is also well known in Malaysia.Our Pirate movies was a big hit here.

SRK: Thats what I meant guys.I have done nothing for Melaka. But I heard someone said this: You know why Shahrukh Khan gets the Datuk? Because many in the state government are grateful to SRK.Why? Because most of the Datins like watching SRK's movies.And when they get emotional they don't care what the Datuks do.So most Datuks are grateful for the have ample time to 'roam' around,if you get what I mean".

JD: Hmm...that guy got a point there.Hey Ah Fatt.I think we should go into romantic movies or tearjerkers.Then maybe we can get datukship from Melaka.

CYF:No need la Johnny. ver here in Malaysia if you got money u can buy a datukship.Thats what my Malaysian and Singaporean friends told me. No need to contribute anythingJust give them money and is done for. Shah, did you use money t get the Melaka datukship.

SRK: Deiy!Ah Fatt. Yu think I'm like that ar? That datukship doesn't mean anything to me outside of Malaysia, not even in India!

JD: Maybe we should as Michelle Yeoh how to get datukship.What say you. Hey!What's this funny smell? Someone farted. Hey,Ah Fatt,did you fart?

CYF: Cilaka lu Johnny boy. Not me laa....

JD: Hahaha....I thought its you coz you are Mr Fatt,right?

Wanna some laugh on the same subject? See what Fudzail have for you.