Malacca's latest glamourous Datuk: The Khan
Its been a month since I last wrote something in this blog. Some thought its due to Ramadhan. Some thought I had some terrible ilness. Some thought I was busy( hahaha....). Some thought I went off for some holiday or umrah. Maybe some might think " Dia ni pi kawin sorang lagi kot??"
The truth : I became plain lazy after my streamyx became very slow.Much slower than a sleepy tortoise. Then there was another glitch m my PC at home cannot detect my router( only after Hari Raya Hafiz made the connection directly via the modem not the router we are able t use the PC.But we can't have the wireless for our notebook. Need to buy another router it seems) and I became tired listening and reading and watching the ding-dongs of our political beasts. Initially I thought I won't write for a week.Then it became 2 weeks.Not its almost 2 months.
I did make a few draft during Ramadhan.Most are for the Terkenang semasa dulu slot.
But a sms from my sahabat made me write this pieee . Its a bit rusty and might not have any punchline.If you need good punchlines, our dear Che'gu KTN is the best.
Few nights ago at 1.00 am, three guy were having teh-tarik and roti Naan at a Nasi Kandar oulet in Melaka.All three were using shades to hide their identities.
That night, there were a large number of people there especially the white-shirted Pemuda guys looking tense after debating fiercely whom to nominate for the Pemuda chief post.
Several waiters(imported from Chennai) immediately knew one of those 3 guys with shades at 1.00am.
Wiater 1: Bacha! Dey...look,look...(pointing his finger to the 3 guys)
Waiter 2: What? Yenne....
Waiter 1: Shah rukh Khan laa....Shah Rukh Khan come here laa....
Waiter 2: Yes...you are right.Lets go and greet him.And we can tell ur folks in Chennai we met the Khan.
The three guys have taken a table for themselve at the far end of the Nasi Kandar outlet and when they saw the 2 waiters approaching them they make a stop signal and indicating they were not to be disturbed.
Chow Yuen Fatt(CYF): Shah! Why you ask the waiters to turn away? Aiya...I very thirsty one mah...

Johnny Depp(JD): Yeah, Ah Fatt is right.I'm thirsty too. They say the teh tarik here is fabuolously delicious.We should call them back.
Shah Rukh Khan(SRK): No...not yet laa guys. See ah...those guys are from India so they will know me.Before you know it everyone will come to us.Lets have some privacy first laa....
JD: Okay you got a point there. So shall we order our drinks then?
SRK: Easy one . I know the captain's number so I'll sms him. What do you want?
CYF: I want a big teh tarik.Tell them I want tea from Darjeeling, not Cameron Highland one. And I want Cheese tosei.
JD: I'll have teh tarik too and 2 pieces of Naan with muttom curry.
SRK: Okay.I'll sms now. Anyway, what are you guys doing here in Melaka?
JD: Oh! Me and Ah Fatt? You see my dear fellow, both of us are filming the 5th instalment of Pirates of Carribeans: The Malacca Bastard. .I'm back as Capt Jack Sparrow and Ah Fatt as Capt Sao Feng. And what are you doing here Shah?
CYF: Eh Shah, you got shooting also ah?
SRK: Actually, I was invited here my The Melaka govt.
JD: Invited? What for?
SRK: Johnny boy...I'm shy to tell you and Ah Fatt laa....
JD: Come on here,be sporting to us Shah.
SRK: Actually the state govt is confering me a datukship for the Govenor's birthday bash this Saturday.
CYF: A what? Datukship? Hey how come you can get so easily one? I've been trying for many years and still nothing.

JD: What's a Datukship? Is it a ship like the ne we use in Pirates?
CYF: No...not that ship Johnny boy. Its actually a title given by a state or royal house to certain individuals during a king's or Sultan's birthday. Or a governor's.
JD: Oh I see. Just like the English giving of their lordship I suppose.
SRK: Yes...its something like that.
JD: Good for you Shah. How did you manage to get it?
CYF: You must have contributed something that benefits Melaka Shah.
SRK: Beats me guys. I am not sure why I will get this datukship. I have never stayed in Melaka. I know no one here. My only contribution is maybe Malaccans like to watch my movies.
JD: Hey!Hold on there. Me and Ah Fatt is also well known in Malaysia.Our Pirate movies was a big hit here.
SRK: Thats what I meant guys.I have done nothing for Melaka. But I heard someone said this: You know why Shahrukh Khan gets the Datuk? Because many in the state government are grateful to SRK.Why? Because most of the Datins like watching SRK's movies.And when they get emotional they don't care what the Datuks do.So most Datuks are grateful for the have ample time to 'roam' around,if you get what I mean".
JD: Hmm...that guy got a point there.Hey Ah Fatt.I think we should go into romantic movies or tearjerkers.Then maybe we can get datukship from Melaka.
CYF:No need la Johnny. ver here in Malaysia if you got money u can buy a datukship.Thats what my Malaysian and Singaporean friends told me. No need to contribute anythingJust give them money and is done for. Shah, did you use money t get the Melaka datukship.
SRK: Deiy!Ah Fatt. Yu think I'm like that ar? That datukship doesn't mean anything to me outside of Malaysia, not even in India!
JD: Maybe we should as Michelle Yeoh how to get datukship.What say you. Hey!What's this funny smell? Someone farted. Hey,Ah Fatt,did you fart?
CYF: Cilaka lu Johnny boy. Not me laa....
JD: Hahaha....I thought its you coz you are Mr Fatt,right?
Wanna some laugh on the same subject? See what
Fudzail have for you.