Kepala Lembu 23: Pelbagai jawaban

12 orang di hadapkan ke mahkamah kerana di katakan melakukan perhimpunan haram dan memijak kepada lembu. Ini di anggap sebagai mengganggu ketenteraman awam dan menghina agama lain.

Orang kena tuduh(OKT) di beri peluang memberi alasan mengapa mereka tidak patut di dakwa.

OKT 1: Eh Yang Arif, yang tu kepala lembu betul punya ka? Saya ingat replika saja.

OTK 2: Saya tak salah Yang Arif. Saya tengah berjalan di situ. Saya nampak orang ramai dok jalan dekat situ. Saya ingat depa nak pi shopping puasa ka apa ka. Tiba tiba ada lori lalu dan kona baring.Terjatuh kepala lembu. Saya ambil sebab kalau tak saya risau nanti ada org accident pulak. Saya pikir elok saya bagi kepala lembu pada orang yg ramai2 tu. Boleh jugak buat sup. Jadi salah ke saya nak tolong orang?

OKT 3: Ye ke saya pijak? Ada lembu tu buat lapuran Polis kata saya pijak?

OTK 4: Yang Arif,saya bukan pijak kepala lembu. Saya pijak kerengga yang mula nak hurung kepala lembu tu. Salah ke yang tu?

OKT 5: Perhimpunan haram ke tu? Saya tak nampak pun FRU atau polis banyak macam perhimpunan Mansuh ISA tu pun!

OKT 6: Berhimpun haram ke? Yang saya tahu arak, judi dedah aurat tu haram ler....

OKT 7: Yang Arif, mana barng bukti kepala lembu tu? Tak nampak pun dalam court ni....

OKT 8: Apasal pulak pijak kepala lembu hina agama lain? Pijak kepala kambing ke kepala ayam ke kepala gajah ke boleh tak? Apa lembu punya soalan daa....

OKT 9: Yang Arif, saya rasa AG,IGP dan Menteri Dalam Negeri kena dakwa lembu tu sebab apa dia hilangkan kepala dia...Kalau dia tak hilang kepala tentu takde orang nak pijak pijak.

OKT 10: Saya nak tanya pada Yang Arif, Raya Haji tahun ni Yang Arif nak korbankan lembu tak? Yang Arif tak rasa tu akan hina agama lain ke?

OKT 11: Macamana saya tak pijak kepala lembu tu. Dia kurang ajar sangat. 3 hari sudah lembu tu yang masuk kebun saya habis anak nangka anak pisang saya dia bedal. Tu yang saya pijak2.

Hang Tuah pun boleh fail SPM kalau tak study

Salam.

Kepada anak-anak dan kawan-kawan yang bakal menduduki peperiksaan, ambil lah iktibar dari kisah Hant Tuah dan 5 sahabatnya ini.
Agar nasi tidak menjadi bubur.

Mama mia......No speka da Inglish

Two Italian men get on a bus. They sit down and engage in an animated
conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but
her attention
is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma comes First. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more! Two asses; They come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one Lasta Time."

The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex-obsessed
pig,' she retorted indignantly.
"In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex
lives."

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex?
I'm a Justa tellin my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi .

"

I bet you're gonna read this again!

Now listen to this albino blues singer, Johnny Winters:

Mississippi Blues

Medical Terminology

Artery -- The study of paintings

Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria

Bowel -- A letter like A.E.I.O.U

Caesarean section -- District in Rome

Cat scan -- Searching for kitty

Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her

Colic -- Sheep dog

Coma -- A punctuation mark

D&C -- Where Washington is

Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events

Dilate -- To live long

Enema -- Not a friend

Fester -- Quicker

Fibula -- A small lie

G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game

Hangnail -- Coathook

Impotent -- Distinguished, well known

Labor pain -- Got hurt at work

Medical staff -- Doctor's cane

Morbid -- Higher offer

Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate

Outpatient -- Person who had fainted

Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis

Post operative -- Letter carrier

Protein -- Favoring young people

Rectum -- It almost killed him

Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery

Secretion -- Hiding anything

Seizure -- Roman emperor

Serology -- Study of knighthood

Tablet -- Small table

Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport

Tibia -- Country in North Africa

Tumor -- An extra pair

Urine -- Opposite of you're out

Varicose -- Located nearby



tokasid:Hope you enjoyed it.

Kandungan posting mungkin ada kena mengena atau tidak dengan makhluk yang hidup atau yang telah tiada.Kalau sapa-sapa terasa nak buat macamana kan. Sapa makan cabai melaka dia pedaih laa

Mechanic VS Heart Surgeon.

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted a famous heart surgeon in his shop who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor! Please come over here for a minute."

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em,put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So howcome you get the big money, when you and me are doing basically the same work?"

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic "Try to do it when the engine is running."

Kandungan posting mungkin ada kena mengena atau tidak dengan makhluk yang hidup atau yang telah tiada.Kalau sapa-sapa terasa nak buat macamana kan. Sapa makan cabai melaka dia pedaih laa

Labour day strike: Pay raise issue(18SX)

Amaran: Memorandum ini mungkin menjadi offence kepada sesetengah pembaca.
Tetapi tuntutan yg KPSD kemukakan adalah penting untuk mereka.Harap maklum.

Semasa Hari Pekerja yang lalu *KPSD lelah melakukan
piket untuk memohon Pay Raise.Berikut adalah memorandum
mereka yang diserahkan kepada pihak Management.
*KPSD: Kesatuan penis Sedunia.

Penis Requests a Raise

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:

I do physical hard labor

I work at great depths 

I plunge head first into everything I do

I do not get off days or public holidays

I am on 24hrs standby / 365days

I work in a damp environment with occasional foul smell

I don't get paid overtime

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation

I need to work in various environment conditions and
temperatures

My work exposes me to contagious diseases which carries
a very high risk of death

Reply from management:

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your
request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight

You fall asleep on the job after brief work period

You do not always follow the orders of the management
team

You do not stay faithful in your allocated workplace,
and often visit other areas

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured
and stimulated in order to start working

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your
shift

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations,
such as wearing the correct protective clothing

You'll retire well before reaching 65

You're unable to work double shifts

You sometimes leave before you have completed the day's
work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly
entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious
looking bags.



Sincerely,

The Management

Kandungan posting mungkin ada kena mengena atau tidak dengan makhluk yang hidup atau yang telah tiada.Kalau sapa-sapa terasa nak buat macamana kan. Sapa makan cabai melaka dia pedaih laa