Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Letter to Dad...baik punya kelentong

Sunray piercing the clouds: PLUS hiway near Bidor 22 April 2007 4.45pm

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad".
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice, even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes.But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.

Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son,

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Kandungan posting mungkin ada kena mengena atau tidak dengan makhluk yang hidup atau yang telah tiada.Kalau sapa-sapa terasa nak buat macamana kan. Sapa makan cabai melaka dia pedaih laa


drzeze said...

Gulp!...thanks God.
Boleh kena heart attack sebelum bapa nya baca baris yang terakhir.

hari tu masuk pekan Bidor ke?tak nampak pun u beli buah kat tepi jalan tu?

elviza said...

Dearest TA,

Okay as a parent, I am appalled with this scary joke but as your reader, I gelak tergolek golek... he he he...

tokasid said...

drzeze: saya juga masa awai2 baca rasa semacam jugak tapi bila baca yg laih tu baru hati hilang gulana.Tu sebab saya boh entry ni.
Pekan Bidor tak masuk.Gambaq tu amik kat highway.Masa lalu situ tgk langit redup macam nak ujan.Saya slow down dan lengok ke atas..nampak sunlight rays memancaq-mancaq.Tu yang berenti tepi hiway amek gambaq.

Elviza: yes bila awal baca memang ngeri. Kita tunggu apa CGOPD nak kata yek!

Both drzeze and elviza, have a nice day ma'am.

elviza said...

Dearest TA,

By some funny criss crossing of phone lines today, (not me calling him ok?) I believe dia tgh mengarang posting terbaru dia.

Again, today I must listen about him having steady hands. Kesian kat I kan? kan?

Good day TA

tokasid said...

Dear Elviza.

I know why you kesian yourself. After exposing that CGOPD stutters he somehow went to a speech therapist for some quick remedy.
I know you were waiting for him to stutter but it never came,right?

Here's how to bring about his stuttering. This will not happen if he happened to be in companies of ladies and not so handsome men around. But if in the group there are 4-5 guys who are much better looking than he is....just wait. If the conversations are in 1 sentence mode he is alright. But try some topic which needed eloborate and intelligent discussion in no time my 'twin of different mother' will stutter. Why not try it in your next meeting with him.Bring along few good looking men who are intelligent( not the pretty boys who have 'rempah ratus maggie mee' upstairs.

Never, I repeat, never allow CGOPD to tag along if you arec to meet a group of beauties. His stutter will stay in the closet and he can really charm the ladies. Yes,he is good at that.

So,you take care ma'am.

Fauziah Ismail said...

Salam Tokasid
If indeed I write a letter like that for dear old dad, surely I'll be grounded for life.
His way of being humorous, I guess.

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