Sunday, April 29, 2007

90/10 Principle: It's how you react that make the difference

Mengintai awan( 22 April 2007 PLUS near Bidor)
foto by tokasid

I got this in my inbox today.Read it through and found it might be useful to all of us.
Basically, we must be calm(tenang) and patience( sabar) when dealing with a situation.

If we continue with our hot-headed/kepala batu/hangin satu badan attitude most probably things will turn out bad.
But if we can be calm and sabr we will have a clear mind to think and will not react according to our nafsu and hati.
If you think this is useful,do pass it on to your friends(..dan kawan2 mereka...dan kawan-kawan kawan mereka..dan...hah! Ada yg marah ka?)


Discover the 90/10 Principle.


It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).
What is this principle?


10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
90% of life is decided by how you react.


What does this mean?


We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us - We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.


We have no control over this 10%.
The other 90% is different.
You determine the other 90%.


HOW?
By your reaction!


You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.


Let's use an example:
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.


You curse.


You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her,you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.


Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.


After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fineaway, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.


Why?
Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?


A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?


The answer is “D".


You had no control over what happened with the coffee.How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.


Here is what could have and should have happened.Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.


Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios.
Both started the same. Both ended different.Why?


Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens.
The other 90% was determined by your reaction.


Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be asponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass.You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!


React properly and it will not ruin your day.


A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired,getting stressed out etc.How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel?A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off!


Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?


Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.


You are told you lost your job.Why lose sleep and get irritated?It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.


The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger.


Why get stressed out?
It will just make things worse.


Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.
The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.

The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.



It CAN change your life!!!





Kandungan posting mungkin ada kena mengena atau tidak dengan makhluk yang hidup atau yang telah tiada.Kalau sapa-sapa terasa nak buat macamana kan. Sapa makan cabai melaka dia pedaih laa

25 comments:

muteaudio said...

Saya dulu agak panas baran jugak. Cuma saya tak pukui oghang. Hand phone yg selalu jadi mangsa. Nasib baik dulu pakai Nokia 3210.

Tapi skrg ni dah kurang. No point marah atas benda yg dah jadi. The most important thing is to settle it, find a solution. Kalau nak marah & membebel, sampai esok pun X abis.

I'm gona put this on my blog. Boleh kan?

bakaq a.k.a ~penarik beca said...

Formula hang cerita ni boleh bagi baik penyakit aku ka?

aku stress gila tengok pembangkang mempersembahkan diri depa kepada SPR supaya ditipu berkali-kali.

Kalau tak tipu, hatta PAS hilang deposit di semua tempat dia bertanding pun aku boleh terima.

Tapi kalau tipu, setakat menang satu dua kerusi apa guna?! Apa pahala?!!

Ada kenai mana-mana tok guru?

Tolong tanya dia boleh pahala ka kita sua tengkok kita supaya ditipu dan disembelih oleh SPR?!

i'm not going to vote in the next election!

Selagi SPR lebih hina dari babi, selagi itulah aku tak mengundi.

i wanna fight SPR first!

Dan, dengan ini aku lancar Malaysian Against Election Commision.

Peduli apa ada orang sokong ka, tak sokong ka!

tokasid said...

Mute: memang kita masa umoq muda selalu panaih baran.Aku mujuq beranak lam peti aih kot..muleh lah kontrol dan telinga aku tak cepat merah. Tapi ada jugak kala-kalanya kejadian yg membuat aku teruih genggam penumbuk tapi taklah sampai hayun pi muka orang. Perkakaih elektrik aku masih okay. Alhamdulillah hang koy okay.
Hang nak boh entry ni kat blog hang boleh saja bro. Aku pun boh pasai ada mamat mana hantaq e-mail.

Bakaq: prinsip yg aku boh ni utk guideline saja. memang ada keadaan yg kita tak muleh nak kawai sbg contoh apa yg hang bagitau pasai SPR ni laa.Kalu ikut 90/10, tak semestinya kita kena akur memanjang dgn tipu daya SPR. melawan supaya SPR adalah reaction yg sesuai dalam keadaan ini kerana kalu tak react nak menentang kebobrokan depa akan menyebabkan berterusannya penyalahangunaan kuasa depa ke atas rakyat dan parti-parti bukan BN. Jadi there is nothing wrong about your action. Malah ia masih berasaskan prinsip 90/10 aku rasa.

Yes I agree kalu hang lancarkan kempen Malaysian against Election Commission(MAEC) supaya kita boleh dapat ketelusan SPR.La ni depa dok ubah tiang gol bila opponent nak score. Depa ubah offside jadi onside.Depa ubah cornerkick jadi throw in etc. Aku akan sokong kempen hang ni.
Tapi aku rasa yg lebih pentin kita cuba dapatkan wakil BA yg lebih ramai di Parlimen dan DUN supaya ada suara yg lebih kuat utk luahkan kepincangan SPR(dan lain2 penyalahgunaan kosa).Kalau kita boikot PEMILU sudah pasti BN akan lebih berkuasa dan membiarkan kebobrokan SPR. Lawan kepincangan tu aku rasa kita kena melalui MAEC dan dgn kita mengundi against BN.
Kalau nak bersihkan agensi kerajaan we need to change the govt kalu dak depa akan teruih macam tu jugak bakaq.
Aku sokong kempen MAEC hang.'

Raden Galoh said...

Tokasid, I'm learning...I'm learning...

How true...befallen with cancer is something that I have no control on...but making the best out of the worse is what the least I could do...

Today, you give me a profound lesson to ponder...

Kak Teh said...

tokasid, i read about this two years ago, i think and now, before doing anything rash, i think about the 90/10 principle.

tokasid said...

Dalilah@Raden:

Yes. Dalam Quran dan al-Hadith pun banyak tempat menyuruh kita bersabar agar dapat kita berfikir dengan tenang. Kan ada dalam surah al-Asr pun kata...yg beruntung/beroleh kemenangan adalah orang yang benar dan yang sabar.
I have seen a lot of parents yg panas baran tak memasal yg akhirnya menyesal dgn tindakan mereka dan ada yg sampai anak2 jadi meluat(tak sampai benci lagi tu).

Kak teh: TQ pasai mai jengoi sini noo..
Yes this was written by Steven something( dalam e-mail yg saya dpt ada boh nama dia. saya dah terdelete kot utk entry ni).It shows that bersabar is universal dan dgn sabar kepala otak kita clear utk berfikir tanpa runtunan emosi/nafsu yg selalu menjerumuskan kita ke kancah penyesalan.

Fauziah Ismail said...

Salam Tokasid
Sometimes in the heat of the moment, 90/10 or 10/90 flies out of the window.
Rasa2nya sebab tu ada term temporary insanity tapi bukan gila yang tak menwajibkan sembahyang!

tokasid said...

Fauziah: yes that usually happened. But this is where we must learn to keep ourselves cool.Bukan mengalah tapi belajar bersabar. InsyaALLAH boleh. Kita di saran masa tengah marah jika sedang berdiri kita duduk,jika itu pun tak meredakan marah kita di saran berbaring.Last sekali jika tak boleh juga kita disarankan berwudhu'.
For me this 90/10 is just a reminder to us.Orang yg memang nature jenis boleh bersabar ini tidak menjadi masaalah. Orang yg ada baran sikit atau senang hangin satu badan perlu belajar utk cool down.
Semoga kita di beri kekuatan utk kawal diri.

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